


Expecting the Unexpected

by BMDM_01



Category: Political RPF - UK 20th-21st c.
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-01 23:30:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17253413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BMDM_01/pseuds/BMDM_01
Summary: This one has a bit of a time jump. Consider it a prologue.





	1. Chapter 1

July 11, 2016

 

 

The excitement was palpable as they watched Andrea Leadsom withdraw from the Conservative leadership race, leaving Theresa as the only remaining candidate. Her Commons office was packed with the team she had used to help her win, and Philip slipped his hand around his waist as Theresa was left to be the final standing candidate.

 

 

“Congratulations, love,” he whispered in her ear.

 

 

“I can’t believe it,” she said gently, bending her arm so she could hold his hand behind her back.

 

 

He looked around before pressing a kiss to her temple. “You deserve it so much.”

 

 

Champagne was flowing freely, most people opting to drink out of the glasses they had, which included tea cups, styrofoam water cups, and the disposable coffee cups that were so often littering parliament. Fiona Hill had offered a toast before Nick Timothy had exuberantly said, “We won’t let the bastards get us down!”

 

 

People had come by, offering congratulations and promises. Philip Hammond had stopped in, promising he would support the government she formed before Penny Mordaunt and Amber Rudd had wandered in. They had both joked about finally having some sense in the leadership, alluding to the fact Theresa was a woman. And finally, George Osborne had sheepishly knocked on the door, mumbling his congratulatory message before quickly fleeing.

 

 

Theresa’s poor secretary had been on the phone non-stop with all the messages coming in. Eventually, Theresa had placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed, telling her to leave the phone off the hook and go home. She smiled and did as she was told before slipping out for an early night. Slowly, the number began trickling down until Fiona and Nick said their goodbyes, leaving Theresa and Philip sitting on her couch in her office.

 

 

“What a day!” Philip exclaimed.

 

 

“I know, love. You woke up with an MP, and you are going to bed with the most powerful woman in the country,” Theresa teased.

 

 

Philip leaned over and kissed her deeply. “That’s rather...sexy when you think about it.”

 

 

“Hmm...you think so?”

 

 

“I do, love.” The hand on her thigh was inching its way up, rubbing slow circles.

 

 

Theresa kissed him with vigor, hands grasping his shoulders. “We should really stop,” she said between kisses.

 

 

He was laying her down on the couch. “But you don’t want to.”

 

 

“We can continue at home, darling,” she reasoned while unbuttoning his shirt.

 

 

He was pushing her skirt up. “Where’s the fun in that?”

 

 

A loud ring made the couple jump apart. “What on earth?” Theresa whispered. “That’s my mobile.”

 

 

“Probably just someone offering congratulations,” Philip said, kissing her neck.

 

 

Reaching over, she plucked it out of her purse and sat up. “It’s my doctor.”

 

 

“Your doctor?”

 

 

“Dr. Pulliam. It must be important if she’s calling me this late.”

 

 

Philip nodded and watched as she quickly answered. He felt the couch shift as she stood, pacing the length of the room. He stopped paying attention and picked up one of the various magazines on her table, flicking through.

 

 

Theresa quietly closed the door separating her office from the lounge area. “Is something wrong? It’s quite odd for you to be calling this late.”

 

 

She heard a pause before a sigh. “I tried calling your office but no one answered. I don’t normally do this, but we need to talk.”

 

 

Theresa’s heartbeat sped up as several scenarios ran through her head. “Is something wrong? Did a test come back abnormal? I’ve been keeping to the new insulin regimen.”

 

 

“I know you have, Theresa.” There was a hesitation in the young woman’s voice. “I hate to ask this over the phone, but...are you and your husband still sexually active?”

 

 

She felt her face turn ten shades of red as she thought back to what almost happened on the couch. “Umm...yes.”

 

 

“Right,” there was another pause, “one of your blood test did show something odd.”

 

 

“What? What did it show?” She started to panic as the question about her and Philip’s love life lingered in the air. Had he cheated on her? ‘No! Don’t be silly,’ she thought. But what was odd? Had he been unfaithful and given her something? Her mind was going a mile a minute.

 

 

“We ran a general set of tests, and it came back positive that you are pregnant.”

 

 

The world froze. Pregnant. Her. She was pregnant. “I’m sorry. Can you say that again?”

 

 

“You are pregnant. Very pregnant given how strong the positive was. We ran and re-ran your blood and urine. You are having a baby.”

 

 

She couldn’t fully comprehend what was going on. A baby? “But I’m too old.”

 

 

“In some, very rare, cases women don’t start menopause, or even perimenopause, until sixty-two or sixty-three. Given your history of reproductive problems, it’s entirely possible your body delayed it,” she explained.

 

 

Theresa gingerly sat down in one of the chairs in front of her desk, hand covering her mouth. ‘I can’t be. It can’t be true.’

 

 

“Theresa?”

 

 

“Oh! Umm...yes? I’m here.”

 

 

“I want to see you first thing so I can perform an ultrasound.”

 

 

“Of course. Philip and I will be there.”

 

 

“I know it’s a lot, but try to stay calm,” she paused again, “for the baby.”

 

 

Theresa couldn’t wrap her head around it and simply hung the phone up. She just stared in front of her. Her hand was pressing against her stomach, and she looked down. “How do I even tell Philip?” She whispered.

 

 

The door opened gently, and he came out. He had begun to get worried when she hadn’t come back for a bit. He had popped his head around, seeing her sat in a chair and deathly pale. “Love, is everything all right? What did she say?”

 

 

Theresa looked at him. “I’m...I’m pregnant.”

 

 

Philip gave her a once over before everything went black.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Pregnant?” Philip asked for the umpteenth time. “You’re sure she said pregnant?”

 

“Yes, Philip. I’m positive she said pregnant. I don’t think I’d mishear something like that,” Theresa said as she sat back against the headboard in bed. “What are we going to do? We can’t have a baby at our age, and I certainly can’t take one into cabinet meetings in a sling!”

 

Reaching over, Philip gently squeezed her hand. “We have an ultrasound in the morning. That means we should get some answers.”

 

“And she said very pregnant. What does very pregnant even mean?” Theresa was on the verge of tears as Philip pulled her close. She snuggled into his chest, inhaling the familiar scent of him. “I just don’t understand. Why now? Why couldn’t we have had this twenty years ago?”

 

“God does work in mysterious ways, love. I know that’s not the answer you want, but I’m sure He has His reasons. Shall I read the Bible tonight? It might help calm you.”

 

“Please. Read from our family Bible, the one that we got from my parents on our wedding day.”

 

Philip kissed her head and smiled. “Of course. You will have to move for me to get it.”

 

“But I’m so comfy,” she said sleepily. 

 

“I’ll wrap my arms around you to hold it. How’s that?”

 

“Okay.”

 

It was the one book that was consistently on his nightstand. The worn leather was embossed with gold lettering, spelling out ‘Mr. and Mrs. Philip May’ on the bottom right corner of the cover. An intricate braided design went around the edges, and it framed the words Holy Bible. This had been the most personal gift they had received, and it was the Bible her father had used to conduct their wedding. 

 

He had left a letter for them, reminding them of the strength in praying together. But there was one thing that had always stood out. He had written in the closing paragraph, “No couple has a perfect marriage. There will be trials and tribulations for both of you, and there will be challenges to your union. Always remember that it is never you against the other; it is both of you against the problem.” The letter had marked a page in the fourth chapter of Peter. The eighth verse was underlined: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

 

The young couple had quickly taken the advice and the scripture to heart, always remembering that the other just wanted what was best for them, and their flaws could also be their strengths. They had leaned heavily on that when they had been trying to conceive, and Philip had an overwhelming feeling that it would be the only thing that would get them through this. His arm reached around her waist again. He was able to hold it with both hands as she rested against his chest. 

 

There was a sharp intake of breath as he flipped the cover open. They had listed their family history, but it only went as far as Theresa and Philip. He felt her tense as the empty blanks on the pages marked for the children they had never had until now stared back at them. He tightened his arm around her and felt her relax back into him. “Where would you like me to read from?”

 

Looking up, she smiled through heavy eyelids. “You pick. You always know just what I need, love.”

 

He had a passage in mind, and he was happy she had allowed him to choose. He quickly flipped to one of his favorite verses, settling against the pillows more so she could get comfortable. “I’m going to skip down to what I think you need to hear.”

 

“Whatever you say, sweetheart.”

 

“The Lord will deliver them to you, and you must do to them all that I have commanded you,” he began. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

 

He felt her chuckle against his chest. “You read this to me when I decided to go for the leadership.”

 

“And it’s still as relevant.”

 

“Deuteronomy 31 is used a lot.”

 

“It’s still one of my favorites, and you did say I could choose so be quiet so I can finish,” he teased, earning another laugh before she went quiet. “Then Moses summoned Joshua and said to him in the presence of all Israel, ‘Be strong and courageous, for you must go with this people into the land that the Lord swore to their ancestors to give them, and you must divide it among them as their inheritance. The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.’”

 

He gently set the Bible aside, scooting down in the bed to face her. He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and felt her face shift into a weak smile. “I know you read that so I wouldn’t be scared, but I am. I am absolutely terrified, Philip.”

 

“Love, I don’t think this would’ve happened without good reason.”

 

“Hmm,” she hummed in uncertainty. 

 

“Everything will work out the way it’s meant to.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead and cuddled her close. 

 

She could tell he had drifted off by the change in his breathing, and she slowly put a hand on her stomach. “But this isn’t meant to happen.”

 

.................................

 

The recessive lights of the examination room were blinding as Theresa laid on the table, hand clutching Philip’s so tightly her knuckles were white. She shivered in the cold of the room and at having her stomach exposed. Philip kissed the back of her hand and gave a reassuring squeeze. 

 

She offered a small smile before looking back at the doctor. “I’m ready.”

 

Dr. Pulliam slowly nodded, sensing the apprehension from her patient and her husband. “This should give us an idea of when the baby was conceived and your due date.”

 

It hit Theresa that this was all real, and she wasn’t in some imaginary bubble. She couldn’t deny it anymore after this, and she let out a loud gasp as the screen showed a small, white, elongated figure with a quick, flickering light she knew was the heartbeat. She knew Philip was grasping her hand rather hard, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the ultrasound. 

 

“I would say you are about seven weeks. Maybe a little more. That means that you will have a winter baby.”

 

“Okay,” Theresa said, hand going to grab a towel to wipe the gel off her stomach. 

 

“Love, that’s wonderful,” Philip beamed, eyes full of awe and adoration. “Our little baby is so lovely.”

 

Theresa just stared as Dr. Pulliam gently pushed her to lay down again. Lovely? Wonderful? What was happening? Why didn’t she feel those things?

 

“Everything looks normal, Theresa. I’ll prescribe some prenatal vitamins, and I’m referring you to a specialist. She specializes in geriatric pregnancies,” the young woman explained. 

 

“Perfect. Can we get a few pictures to take?” Philip interrupted. 

 

“Of course,” Dr. Pulliam gave a wide grin. “I’ll be right back. You can get dressed again.”

 

It was just going through the motions for her as she pulled her shirt on before her trousers. Philip wouldn’t stop remarking about how amazing it all was, and then he pressed his hand against her stomach and kissed her, whispering how wonderful she would be as a mummy. She felt like she was suffocating in the room. Everyone was excited but her. 

 

Thoughts of everything that could go wrong kept flashing through her mind. Why should she get excited when she already knew she would more than likely lose it? Why should she get attached when it’s just going to end with heartbreak? Why her? Why? She was angry at her body for betraying her, denying her for so many years before finally giving in at the wrong time, wrong age. 

 

The car ride home was nearly unbearable for her. Philip kept his hand firmly on hers or on her stomach in some way. He kept dropping kisses to her head or cheek, and she wanted to be left alone. She wanted to curl up in a corner somewhere and wait until this was all over with the inevitable bleeding and crying and pain. She had a country to run, an economy to fix, and a Brexit to negotiate. She didn’t have time for nappies and sleepless nights. Resentment was bubbling up inside her at the thought of having to give it all up, a job she had worked so hard to get, because her reproductive system just so happened to decide to work for once. 

 

Philip had rubbed her back as she threw her dinner up. He had almost excitedly announced it must be morning sickness, but she knew it was stress and anxiety and sadness and a million other emotions making her body reject it. She wanted to cry, but she knew Philip would mark it up to pregnancy hormones, and that was the furthest reason for her tears. 

 

He had climbed into bed behind her, holding her almost reverently, like she was breakable. His palm immediately went to cover her lower abdomen, fingers spread over her belly. She had rested her hand lightly over his, lacing their fingers together in a futile attempt to absorb some of his happiness. 

 

“There’s a little bump,” he had whispered in her ear. And she suddenly felt it, deep inside her, a firm weight pressing on her womb. Her body became hypersensitive, every smell, every sound, every little prick against her skin, and it made her suddenly sit up in bed. Sweat was soaking through her nightgown, and she sighed in relief when she saw Philip was still asleep. 

 

Looking over at her nightstand, she gently picked up one of the ultrasound pictures. “I want to be happy for you, but I can’t be. Why are you doing this to me, little one?” She whispered into the night.


	3. Chapter 3

July 17, 2016

 

Church had been an interesting experience that morning. Everyone was congratulating her on becoming the Prime Minister, but she felt numb to most of it. The slightest bump against her abdomen, or anywhere near it, made her recoil. She was afraid someone would feel what Philip felt, afraid their secret would be out. 

 

Her husband. Her darling Philip. He had been a bright spot for her since finding out. His almost boyish excitement for the baby made her happy while simultaneously breaking her heart. It made voicing her inner thoughts impossible as she was too afraid to hurt him with her lack of enthusiasm. She had never seen him shower her with so much love and attention, and it made her feel guilty when she would gently push him away and tell him she had things to do. 

 

“Love,” Philip said, hugging her from behind, “why don’t we be bad and order takeout? You look exhausted, and I know you just want to curl up and sleep.”

 

“Hmm.” She allowed herself to lean back against him, eyes closing. “That sounds amazing, and I am craving curry.”

 

His laugh filled the air, and he kissed her neck softly. “I’ll order for us. Why don’t you change into some comfy clothes, and we can curl up on the couch together?”

 

“Perfect, love.”

 

Her shoulders tensed, and he could see the way her jaw became set as he skimmed his hand over her stomach. The atmosphere was thick with things they wanted to say about their situation, but he could sense that she didn’t want to talk about it. He watched as her hand hovered over her belly, trembling from an emotion he couldn’t recognize in her. 

 

Theresa had been the one to suggest they watch a film after they had eaten, but he hadn’t expected her to pull out a stack of Disney films. Her chin had tilted up in defiance of his questioning gaze, almost daring him to challenge her. 

 

“I thought something lighthearted would be good for us,” she had whispered before crying the entire way through Bambi. Smiling, he had gently dried her tears, placing kisses on her cheeks before carrying her upstairs. They had gotten ready for bed in silence, comfortably dancing around each other in their nightly routine. But it was different. They both knew that life was changing at an accelerated pace for them, and they could only sit back and watch. 

 

“Do you think it will be a boy or a girl?” He had asked, nuzzling her neck. 

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“What do you want?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

Philip sighed, pulling her closer. “You used to say you wanted a girl.”

 

“I know. I just don’t want to get my hopes up. You shouldn’t either. There’s a good chance I’ll lose it, Philip.” Her head turned, facing away from him so he couldn’t see the tears pooling.

 

“Darling, I know this is going to be hard-“

 

“Do you?!” She sat up, frustration evident on her face by her flushed cheeks. “You heard what the specialist said. Not only is this high risk for the baby, but for me too. The baby could be born with abnormalities or learning disabilities, and I could die, Philip.” 

 

He looked at her sullenly. Her words were sinking in, and he didn’t want to hear them. Not from her. Not from a doctor. Not from anyone. He reached out to hold her but thought better of it when he saw her hand jerk away. 

 

“Carrying this child is dangerous, and the possibility of me miscarrying is nearly fifty percent. Stop pretending that it’s all okay, because this is far from okay. It’s easier to just accept the fact that I’ll lose it before I give birth to it,” she huffed, throwing the covers off and standing. 

 

“Where are you going?” He asked worriedly. 

 

“I’m going to make some tea. I think it could help me sleep.”

 

He immediately started to stand. “I can do it-“

 

“No!” She bit back. “I’m not an invalid. I can make myself a cup of tea.” With a resounding thud, the door slammed behind her. 

 

....................................

 

The next morning things weren’t much better. The atmosphere around the breakfast table was icy, and Theresa wouldn’t talk other than asking for the occasional plate of something to be passed. Philip had tried to brush kisses against her cheeks, but she had always ducked them, pushing past him quicker and harder than the time before. 

 

“We have an appointment today,” she mumbled. 

 

“Yes, I know. The doctor wants another ultrasound to make sure the baby is all right. She said we could have that test done to make sure the baby is healthy,” he replied, hoping she would settle down after they knew for sure the baby was fine. 

 

She nodded, refusing to meet his eye. Her heart rate sped up when he pushed back from the table in obvious irritation and went into the study, nearly stomping his feet in a tantrum. The tick of the clock filled the silence before she sighed and followed after him. He was working at his desk, hurriedly filling in figures on a form of some kind for work. 

 

“Philip,” she said softly, “I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did.”

 

“No you shouldn’t have.”

 

“And I know you are happy so I’ll try to be.”

 

“You shouldn’t have to try, Theresa.” He threw his pen down, looking at her. “You should be thrilled after all the pain and tears, but you aren’t, and I don’t know what to do.”

 

She stepped onto the plush rug in front of the desk. Tears were burning her eyes, and the lump in her throat grew as she looked at him. “I’m too scared to be happy. I know that you don’t understand that, but please try. I’ve been a huge disappointment to you when it’s come to our marriage, and I don’t want to disappoint you again when I inevitably lose this baby. Just let me be scared, and I’ll let you be happy,” she said brokenly. 

 

...................................

 

August 3, 2016

 

Healthy is what the little sheet said. All the things that could be wrong with her baby, and nothing ticked any of the boxes. She smiled to herself as she thought about it. Her baby was perfect. ‘Stop. Don’t do this to yourself,’ a voice in her head said. ‘Don’t get attached.’

 

Philip had practically lit up the room when he read the results from the amniocentesis; he had lit up the room, until he had seen her face that is. He quickly made himself somber as he looked at his wife. She had simply nodded, taking the results with her to her office so she could read them herself. 

 

Sighing, she reached down and unbuttoned her trousers. “That’s better,” she said to herself. Then she let her hand settle on her lower abdomen, a firm dome pressed against her palm. “You are growing so fast. I’m going to have to get new trousers.”

 

“Love?”

 

She quickly pulled her hand away, straightening up in her chair. “Yes?”

 

“I made reservations for us tonight to celebrate.”

 

“Celebrate what?”

 

“The baby being healthy.”

 

“I see.” She twirled her pen in her hands before capping it. “I should go get ready then. It’s nearly six.”

 

“Of course.” He placed his hand on her waist, stopping her from going forward and leaned in. “We can go shopping for trousers this weekend. And skirts.” He winked as he pulled back. 

 

She was able to contain her grin until she got to the stairs. 

 

.....................................

 

“Dinner was fantastic. I never knew I could eat so much,” Theresa groaned in satisfaction. 

 

“I’m glad, love. Although, I was surprised at how quickly you cleaned your plate,” Philip teased. 

 

“I blame the baby.”

 

He looked at her, really looked at her. He had noticed how she was getting what some people called a pregnancy glow, but he had never took stock of how much she had changed. Her hair was thicker he knew. It was glossier, and her eyes shined more than ever before. He had certainly taken notice of her figure recently as well. The tight, business skirts and dresses she wore gave away that something was going on, to him at least since he had seen her body, memorized it for the past 35 years. 

 

The hips that were once slim had broadened, giving her a true hourglass figure, and he had watched her struggle to button one of her shirts up last week as her breasts had swollen as well. The most endearing part of all of it though was the little round tummy he liked to cup at night when they snuggled. It was small but there, and he loved there was a physical reminder she was carrying his child. 

 

“You’re staring,” she commented. 

 

“You’re very beautiful.” 

 

The hand that was holding the bannister reached for him, feeling his forehead. “Hmm.”

 

“What?”

 

“No fever. I thought you must have some illness induced illusion.”

 

He laughed and stepped closer to her, arms wrapping around her. “No. You’re not an illusion, and you are absolutely gorgeous.”

 

Smiling, she kissed him before whispering in his ear, “You were staring at my chest, love.”

 

They made love for the first time in weeks. It was slow and gentle and passionate. She took the lead, offering kisses and caresses and pleasure freely. He had admired her though, eyes trying to imprint the curve of her back and dip of her waist and the way she threw her head back with wild abandon. And when she sobbed afterwards, he held her, pressing kisses to her head and telling her how much he loved her. 

 

It was almost a perfect night until Theresa had woken him up just after four. Her face had been pale as she held up her underwear. There was a clear red patch on them. 

 

They had rushed to the car, telling their driver to take them to the nearest hospital. Theresa had tucked herself against him, lip trembling as she held back sobs. “It will be okay, love. I promise it will all be okay,” he whispered into her hair. 

 

Her eyes met his in the moonlight, tears glistening in both sets. “I told you this would happen.”


	4. Chapter 4

It had all been a blur of nurses and lights and needles being stuck here and there. The odd cramp would cause her to tighten her hand so hard around her husband’s she was sure she would break it. She had almost been comforted by the way Philip had crawled in bed next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders so she could silently cry against his chest as they waited for the doctor. 

 

“Mrs. May?” A shy young woman asked. 

 

“I’m here,” Theresa sniffled out, clutching Philip’s shirt in her fists. She noticed the woman’s scrubs were a different color than the nurses that had been in and out all night. 

 

“I’m Dr. Kelly. I’m here to tell you what’s happening,” she explained in a soft voice. She could tell Theresa was frightened. Her wide eyes gave the impression of a doe frozen in the street, headlights getting closer at an alarming rate. 

 

Theresa nodded, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. “I know what’s happening. I’m losing the pregnancy, aren’t I?”

 

The white shoes squeaked on the linoleum tiled floor as the doctor walked over. “You have to have another ultrasound, but from the amount of blood you’ve lost, I would say yes.”

 

A new round of sobs broke out from Theresa, and Philip held her closer, kissing her head. “We’ll be okay, darling. I promise,” he whispered into her ear. 

 

She was reluctant to come out of his embrace but did as she was told by Dr. Kelly as they prepared her for the procedure. There was absolute silence when the small wand began to make circles on her lower abdomen; everyone was holding their breaths, hoping to see some sign of life. 

 

A loud thump filled the room, and Dr. Kelly gasped. “I don’t believe it,” she mumbled to herself. 

 

“What?” Philip said anxiously, hand holding his wife’s in hope. 

 

Dr. Kelly looked at them in disbelief, jaw dropping. “I...umm...you,” she looked at Theresa before turning back to the screen, “you’re still pregnant.”

 

“Oh, that’s wonderful news!” Philip exclaimed, pulling Theresa into a hug. 

 

“But...how?” Theresa asked in shock. 

 

Dr. Kelly clicked a series of buttons and turned. “I think, and I’m sorry to say this, but I think you lost a twin.”

 

“A twin?!” The couple said in unison. 

 

“Yes. I think it was hiding behind its sibling.”

 

“You...she...twins?” Philip looked down, burying his face in his hands. A thousand different things ran through his mind as he imagined his children. There would have been one for each of them to hold. Four little feet running around, and two sets of little shoes sitting with his and Theresa’s. It all seemed so lovely, and he felt his heart break just a bit. 

 

“Older women tend to get pregnant with multiples. They produce a hormone called follicle-stimulating hormone at higher levels. It helps the follicle containing the egg release it-“

 

“Yes. We know. Our specialist talked to us about it,” Theresa interjected. 

 

Dr. Kelly nodded before turning the machine off. “Then you know that you are extremely lucky to still be carrying this one.”

 

Her eyes glazed over as she whispered, “Yes.” She could sense Philip’s relief, but her heart dropped. She didn’t know what was worse: knowing she had lost one or knowing she had to go through it all again. Her hand went to fiddle with the cross necklace she was wearing. 

 

Watching his wife’s eyes nervously shift back and forth, Philip felt a surge of protectiveness and anger well up in him. His anger, he felt, was justified. They had waited so long for children, and one of their babies was ripped away. “What do we have to do to make sure it doesn’t happen with this one?”

 

“Lots of rest. You’ll have to manage your stress levels, and you can’t do anything strenuous. And this doesn’t even begin to cover what you’ll have to do since you are a diabetic,” Dr. Kelly explained with worry in her voice. “You have one of the best specialists, but high blood sugar can do so much harm to an unborn baby.”

 

“What kind of harm?” Theresa asked, grasping Philip’s hand underneath the hospital bed blanket. 

 

“The number one concern is congenital malformations. Neural tube defects, such as spina bifida, and congenital malformations of the heart.”

 

“Our specialist mentioned that it would be dangerous, but she said that we would discuss the risks more if,” Philip paused, taking a deep breath, “if Theresa could make it past twelve weeks.”

 

“I see. Well, you will be twelve weeks,” she flipped through some pages in a file, “tomorrow.”

 

Theresa nodded, looking up for the first time. “Did I lose a boy or a girl?” She asked suddenly. 

 

“Oh,” Dr. Kelly was taken back by the question, “umm...are you sure you want to know?”

 

“Yes.” She didn’t have to think about it. She wanted to know what her little one was even if it did break her heart. 

 

Kissing her head, Philip looked at the doctor and nodded. His heart rate was accelerating as he watched and waited for what he knew would be a devastating blow to both of them. His wife’s nails were digging into the back of his hand, but he couldn’t feel it, his body too numb to. 

 

“A little boy, Mrs. May. You lost a little boy.”

 

The wail that came out of Theresa couldn’t be described as anything other than mournful. Her hand covered her mouth, body jerking with the force of her sobs. Her cries were piercing and anguished. Pulling her body into herself, she tucked her face in the knees against her chest. Everything about her lost child was flashing in her mind’s eye. She could see him, a perfect little boy with bright eyes, a crooked smile, and just the right mix of her and Philip. 

 

“Thank you, Doctor,” Philip said quietly before he enclosed Theresa with his arms again. He waited to hear the door close with a click before he mumbled, “Love, I’m so very sorry.”

 

“He...He...why?” She managed through her sobs. 

 

“I wish I knew, sweetheart. I love you so much, and I wish you didn’t have to go through this. I wish we both didn’t.”

 

“I can’t do it again, Philip. I can’t.” She met his eyes, seeing tears in them. She laced her fingers with his and whispered, “What happens when this one goes?”

 

.................................

 

August 20, 2016

 

“Theresa?” Philip asked worriedly as he heard her retch again through the bathroom door. 

 

The white, wooden door swung open, and he was met with no one before looking down, seeing his wife on her hands and knees in the floor. Her face was pale and looked gaunt, cheekbones sticking out sharply. She appeared to have sunken eyes, dark circles underneath them highlighting the bloodshot corneas. “Yes,” she said, voice hoarse from the vomiting she had done. 

 

“Oh, darling.” He immediately dropped to his knees to be eye to eye with her before he brushed her hair back. “What can I do?”

 

“I don’t know. It’s morning sickness from hell,” she sighed, dropping down and rolling onto her back on the cool tile floor of the bathroom. “The baby doesn’t like anything I eat, and I keep an awful migraine. My back hurts, I have to pee every ten minutes, none of my clothes fit anymore, oh, and my mood swings are so bad that I cried in the car today because I saw a stray dog.”

 

Philip felt awful for his wife. He had seen the way she had gotten thinner. The myth that the second trimester was easier was just that, a myth. The worst part for him was that he couldn’t do anything to help. He couldn’t nurse her until she was better because they didn’t know when she would be better. “Well,” he crawled to lay beside her, “I wish I could take it away, but I can’t. What I can do is make you some soup and cuddle you in the bed after I massage your feet.”

 

“That sounds lovely, but I’m afraid to get off the floor. I’ve been getting dizzy.”

 

“Has your sugar stayed normal?”

 

“Yes.” Her hand reached for his to help her up after he stood. “Everything has been normal and fine. I just throw up a lot.”

 

Easing her onto her feet, he kissed her head. “That’s good. Go get changed and get in bed while I warm some soup up for you.”

 

She had put one of her oversized t-shirts on along with a pair of sweatpants. They seemed to be the only thing that fit her comfortably anymore with her expanding belly. Her hand settled at the top of her now small bump as she waited on her husband. She had been able to hide it so far with flowy tops and large jackets. Most people just assumed she had started packing on weight from stress. 

 

The night of the miscarriage kept replaying itself in her mind. The metallic smell of blood seemed to haunt her when she closed her eyes, and the overwhelming sense of dread and apprehension of when it would happen with the life she still carried consumed most free moments for her. Glancing over at her bedside table, she gave a small smile, picking the picture of her parents up. “I wish you were here. You’d know exactly what to do, Mum,” she whispered, sliding her finger down the glass. 

 

There was a rattling of tea cups and saucers as Philip entered the room again. Steam was rolling off the bowl of soup on the tray as he set it down over her lap. “I brought plenty of cream crackers and some ginger ale along with tea. I thought it could help settle your stomach.”

 

“When did you buy this?” 

 

He knew she was referring to the ginger ale. They never kept carbonated drinks in the house unless it was a tonic for gin. He smiled and kissed her head again. “When you started getting sick. I read that it helps.”

 

“I love you so much, Philip.”

 

“I know.”

 

They fell into comfortable silence as she ate and he worked away at the arches in her swollen feet. He wanted to laugh when he saw her bowl was empty, the sleeve of crackers gone, and both the tea cup and the glass of the fizzy drink had nothing but a drop left in them. He lifted the tray for her, quickly disposing of things in the kitchen before settling back upstairs with her in bed. 

 

His arm was slung around her shoulders, hand fiddling with her sleeve as he felt her fingers twisting one of the buttons on his pajama shirt. “You’ll pop it off if you keep doing that.”

 

She looked up sheepishly. “Sorry.” They stayed there in silence for a while before she gently said, “I keep thinking about it, you know. I keep thinking about him.”

 

He tightened his arm around her, gently holding her waist. His hand pressed into the side of her stomach as he kissed her forehead. “I do to, darling. He would’ve been lovely.”

 

“He would’ve been ours. I can’t believe I didn’t know...that I couldn’t tell it was twins.”

 

“You heard the doctor. She said he was hiding. I guess he wanted to surprise us one day.”

 

A sad smile spread across her face. “Our little surprise baby.”

 

“We got two little surprises.” He slid down to face her and kissed her nose. “They would’ve been amazing. Could you imagine both of us running around after them?”

 

Theresa laughed. “Yes. We would be chasing them with our walkers, but yes, I can see it.”

 

“We aren’t that old.”

 

“I suppose not, but we will still be a lot slower than this little one.”

 

“What would you have wanted to name him?” The emotions that danced across her face made his chest tighten with sadness. 

 

“After you.” Her voice trembled slightly as she said it. The tears in her eyes slid down her cheeks, dripping onto their joined hands. 

 

He gave a watery smile, attempting to break the heavy emotions hanging in the air. “Me? You would’ve been cursing him to lose his hair.”

 

“He would’ve gotten over it. Maybe Philip for his first name and a different one for the middle. I wouldn’t have him be a junior.”

 

Philip’s laughter shook the bed. “Neither would I. What about Alexander? That was always high up on our list when we were younger.”

 

“Philip Alexander May. I love it. We could’ve called him Alex,” she said tearfully. 

 

“Our precious little Alex. At least he’s with our parents now. I’m sure they are all spoiling him in heaven,” he offered in an attempt of consolation. 

 

She curled herself into him more. “Yes. Mum is probably chasing him around. That’s something she wouldn’t have gotten to do here.”

 

“We still have this one.” Both of their hands went to cover her stomach. “We can’t let ourselves get so wrapped up in grief we forget about our other little surprise. He or she won’t let us I don’t think.”

 

“Certainly not with the amount I throw up.”

 

“I love you, Theresa.”

 

Her eyes met his before she pressed their lips together. “I love you too, Philip.”

 

He pulled her impossibly close, tucking her head beneath his chin. “Try and sleep, love. We have a busy day tomorrow.”

 

But she couldn’t sleep. It eluded her the way an easy life had: always so close but just out of grasp. Easing her way out of her husband’s arms, she flipped the lamp on. If she couldn’t sleep, she might as well work. She made a cup of tea before grabbing her papers and going back up to bed, careful to not disturb Philip. 

 

She had been able to get a few pages in when she felt something and paused. It happened again. And again. And again. She threw her papers down and pressed her hand into her stomach. “Is that you, baby? Are you moving around in there?” She asked quietly. The sensation of a bubble popping occurred again as she looked down. 

 

A grin spread across her face, and both hands cupped her tummy, eyes misting over. “I guess that’s a yes. Oh, how I’ve waited for you. I know I’ve seemed a little distant, but I was so scared I’d lose you. I suppose you’ve decided to stick around so I might as well get used to you. Mummy loves you, baby.”

 

The thought of waking Philip crossed her mind, but she decided against it, knowing he wouldn’t be able to feel it anyway. She curled up underneath the covers, hand staying on her belly. A thousand things ran through her mind before a Bible verse made her smile. “I thank my God in all my remembrance of you.”


	5. Chapter 5

September 15, 2016

 

“Philip, I think I’m officially out of normal clothes,” Theresa sighed, throwing the shirt she was holding up on the bed. “I can’t button it over my belly.”

 

He smiled, wrapping his arms around her waist and covering her stomach with his hand. “The baby is getting big. I’m surprised you’ve been able to keep it hidden for so long.”

 

“No one would believe me if I said I was pregnant. Everyone just thinks I’m getting fat. Have you seen some of the headlines?”

 

“Yes, but you aren’t fat. You are absolutely beautiful.” He dropped a kiss to her neck before he turned her to face him. “You are carrying our baby.”

 

His smile was infectious, and she felt a grin spreading across her face. “Our baby is getting big, and we get to find out what this one is next week.”

 

“I know. I’m excited!” He exclaimed boyishly.

 

“I am too, but until then, can I ask what you’d like for your birthday, love?”

 

He took a moment to pretend to ponder the question. “You,” his arms went to encircle her waist, “me, a nice romantic dinner, and maybe some cuddling afterwards.”

 

“Just cuddling?” She flirted.

 

“Well, some rather...strenuous cuddling.”

 

“That’s more like it. Although, I am sad because what I bought to wear for your birthday doesn’t fit anymore.”

 

“It’s worth it,” he said absentmindedly, eyes staring at her stomach.

 

“You’re right,” she slowly tilted his head up, “because now getting undressed will be easier.”

 

“God, I love you,” he mumbled, kissing her rather deeply.

 

.....................................

 

September 16, 2016

 

Theresa slowly rolled the high waisted spanx down and sighed. Hiding the baby had become harder and harder, and the ever pressing matter of announcing it had been a matter of anxiety for both Philip and Theresa. She rubbed a hand over the swell of her abdomen and turned, looking in the mirror. “You are making this rather hard, little one. Everyone at church was giving us funny looks.”

 

“Only because they can see how happy you are,” Philip said, peeking his head around the bathroom door. “And you look quite marvelous right now if I do say so myself.”

 

“Only because I’m in my knickers.”

 

“Be better if those were off too.” He winked at her, and she felt her face flush.

 

“That right there is what got us in this mess. You and your flirting talked me into bed and got me pregnant.”

 

He swaggered out to her, smirk on his face, and pulled her against his chest. “Were you complaining?”

 

Theresa smiled and leaned in, breath hitting his ear. “I think moaning is more like it, love.”

 

“You might be right.” He grazed his lips against her neck before pulling back. “What time is our reservation tonight?”

 

“Seven.”

 

“Will you tell me where we are going now? You’ve refused to for the past two days.”

 

“It’s a surprise. Just be sure to wear a suit.”

 

“That tells me so much,” he deadpanned, rolling his eyes at her stubbornness. “What time is it now?”

 

She glanced behind him at the clock. “Just after twelve.”

 

“Good.” He tugged her closer, pressing their bodies together. “I want to spend some time with you two.”

 

“We’re all yours...after lunch. The baby really wants food.”

 

“Of course. The baby can have anything it wants.”

 

“You’re going to spoil it,” she said softly, heart warming at the thought.

 

“Absolutely. I’m going to spoil it the way I spoil its mother,” he teased.

 

“I’m sorry I can’t do more on your birthday. I just stay so tired, and the morning sickness hasn’t let up. I was hoping to be able-“

 

He pressed his lips to hers to shush her. “You have given me the best birthday present ever,” his hands covered her stomach, “and you underestimate how amazing you already are.”

 

Theresa smiled before pulling a t-shirt on and strolling out of the bedroom. She could hear Philip follow as she made her way around the house slowly, and she placed a hand on her stomach as she felt the baby move. It was comforting to feel a baby kick consistently around in her tummy. She would often get sidetracked during important meetings or while reading because she would feel what she liked to imagine to be a foot or a hand or an elbow press against the taut skin of her abdomen. Of course she wasn’t able to sit there and gush about how happy and excited she was that in five months time a little one would be snuggled against her chest.

 

“Love? Theresa?” She heard Philip call. “You’ve been standing there for ten minutes.”

 

“Oh, sorry. The baby was kicking. I got distracted,” she said apologetically.

 

“Do you think I would be able to feel it now?” He looked like he was blushing, and her heart melted. He had been asking that question since she had first mentioned it.

 

“Come here.” She pulled him close, holding his hand to her belly. “Can you feel it?”

 

He nodded, mouth dropped wide open as he stared at her. He had felt his sister’s stomach when she was pregnant; she had made him, but knowing that it was his child pressing against his hand made his heart flutter. “It’s amazing.”

 

“It’s a football player,” Theresa teased.

 

“Thank you so much for this.” He held her to his chest as he kissed her, trying to convey his love for her in it.

 

“Well,” she said tearfully, “let’s have lunch.”

 

.....................................

 

“Theresa, tell me where we are going!” Philip said as he felt his wife pull him along. They had, had dinner at a lovely Italian restaurant in the constituency before she had given him a mischievous smile and blindfolded him in the backseat of the car. They had driven a bit with her teasing him about where they were going before they stopped, and she had quite forcefully pulled him out by his hand.

 

She laughed. “We’re almost there, love.”

 

He was just about to give up and pull the scarf she had used off when he jolted into her because she had stopped. “Love?”

 

She reached up and pulled it off. “Surprise.”

 

He looked up and was confused. “We are at your doctor’s...”

 

“I wanted to surprise you with what we are having. I got them to do an after hours visit for us, and after we leave here, I got one of the baby shops to open for us so we could pick up a few things. I know you’ve been upset we haven’t been able to do that.” She cast her eyes down, face and voice deflating as she saw the apparent lack of enthusiasm. “I thought you’d like it,” she said quietly, smile beginning to fade out as the feeling of failure washed over her. He looked like he was letdown, and she felt her eyes well up.

 

“Oh, love, thank you so much.” She felt herself be swept up in a hug, feet lifting off the ground as he twirled her around. He kissed the tip of her nose, forgetting that the security detail was standing around them. Before she could protest, he kissed her gently and slowly. “This is the best present I could ask for,” he whispered to her.

 

“Really? You aren’t upset?” Apprehension laced her voice.

 

Philip cupped her cheeks. “Absolutely not. Let’s go find out what this little kicker is.” He practically bounced into the clinic, wearing a smile she had only ever seen on their wedding day.

 

She snuggled into his side as they walked through the front door. She thought it was nice to take the front entrance instead of the back as they usually did. It was quite cozy when they made it in the room, and Philip eagerly helped her hop on the examination table. “Love, calm down. We have time,” she said gently, watching him blush softly before he smiled at her. “I’m excited too.”

 

He opened his mouth to speak just as the door creaked open and a young man sheepishly popped his head in. “Mrs. May, I’m Jason. I’ll be doing your ultrasound if that’s all right?” He said, voice soft. He looked like he was in his early 20’s, and Theresa could tell he was nervous from the way he was twiddling his pen.

 

“Of course it’s all right.” She offered a smile to try and break the tension and watched as he sat. His long limbs made it awkward as he was in a low-sitting, rolling chair. She nearly sniggered as she watched his knees press against his chest.

 

“Are you...you sure, ma’am? If you’d rather have a woman, I...I can request one,” he stumbled out.

 

Theresa felt herself get emotional as she watched the boyish man take her comfort into consideration. “No. You seem more than capable,” she heard Philip say, and she smiled at him, squeezing his hand in appreciation for the nice act.

 

She watched as Jason gently rolled her shirt up just a bit more before taking the ultrasound gel and popping the top off. “We’ve warmed it. I hope that’s okay,” he said worriedly.

 

“That’s perfect.” She gave another smile and turned to face the monitor. She was nervous, and she felt Philip squeeze her hand again. “How soon will you be able to tell if it’s a girl or a boy?”

 

“It should be right away, ma’am. It depends on how the baby is positioned, but you’re far enough along to be able to tell immediately.”

 

Philip was nodding along, eyes glued to the machine as Jason turned it on. There was a brief moment of static before the shape of their baby filled the empty screen. “Oh, Theresa, look. It’s waving to us!” Philip exclaimed.

 

“It’s wishing you a happy birthday, love,” she said emotionally, tears filling her eyes. She felt the wand on her stomach make slow passes before it stopped. The sound of a keyboard caught her attention as Jason typed things in.

 

“Now,” he said turning to them, glasses shining in the hospital lights, “are you two absolutely positive you want to know?”

 

They eagerly nodded in unison. Philip was squeezing her hand tighter, and Theresa felt butterflies build up in her stomach as her unborn child kicked repeatedly. “Please. I’ve been waiting for nearly five months,” she whined.

 

The young man gave a toothy grin. “It’s a little boy.”

 

Their gasps filled the air. Theresa felt like her heart would explode from love and fear and pride and a thousand other emotions. Philip was wearing a smile so big that he thought his face would split in half from the joy he felt. He leaned down and kissed her head. “Thank you so much for this. You’ve given me everything and more I could have ever wished for.”

 

“I know you were hoping for a girl-“

 

“Shhh.” He pressed his finger to her lips. “I was hoping for healthy and happy. You’ve given me that, and I’m so happy you are having our son.” There were tears building up behind his glasses, and she had to look away to avoid bursting into sobs.

 

Jason cleared his throat, breaking the atmosphere they had created for themselves. “I’ll go print some pictures while you get cleaned up.” He stood quickly, striding towards the door before pausing and looking back. “By the way, congratulations.” And with one last grin, he dashed out.

 

....................................

 

September 29, 2016

 

“Philip,” Theresa managed before she vomited into the toilet again, “come here.”

 

He hurried into the bathroom from the bedroom and quickly knelt beside her. “What is it, love? Do you want some water? Ginger ale? How about some crackers?” He was gently brushing her hair back from her sweat soaked forehead.

 

“Water,” she croaked, throat dry from the heaving. He quickly filled a glass from the tap and handed it to her before climbing in the floor beside her.

 

“Do you want to get in bed?”

 

“No,” she said softly. “The tile floor is cooler, and I’m having hot spells. Our little boy seems to want to punish me.” Her hand gently caressed her stomach. “He’s gotten so big. I’m nearly 20 weeks now.”

 

Philip smiled and patted her leg. “Yes, you’re taking up quite a bit of bed now, but it’s worth it.” He still felt horrible he couldn’t help her, but with her mood swings, he learned it was better to come when called rather than linger.

 

Theresa eased herself back onto the tile floor, pulling her shirt over her head in the process. When her back met the ground, she sighed, taking comfort in the way it brought her temperature down. She could here Philip chuckle, and she knew she must look a sight: no shirt or bra, his boxers that she found were cooler, and leopard print socks. “I know. I must look funny.”

 

“No. It’s not that, darling. Your belly button has popped out. You have an outie...like me,” he proudly remarked.

 

“Do I?” She gingerly sat up and felt her stomach before looking down. “Hmm...you’re right. Isn’t that strange?”

 

“There’s nothing strange about an outie belly button,” he defended.

 

She smiled and leaned over to kiss his cheek. “Of course there isn’t, my darling, left-handed, outie-belly-button, nearly-blind, man.”

 

She bit her bottom lip when she saw him huff in feigned offense. “Well, this left-handed, outie-belly-button, nearly-blind man still married you, and I got you pregnant. So I’m going to say you like my left-handedness, outie-belly-buttonness, and nearly-blindness. I would even go so far as to say you think it’s sexy.”

 

Her laughter burst forth and made her whole body shake. “I do, love. I think they are the sexiest qualities about you,” she said sweetly. They fell into a companionable silence as they both waited to see if she would throw up again before she looked at him and grabbed his hand. “Philip, I’m getting bigger. I’m getting a lot bigger...a lot faster now.”

 

He knew this had been coming, but he still wanted it to be them. The three of them. All wrapped up in their own little world. “Yes, I know.”

 

His solemn voice reflected how she felt on the inside. She knew what people would say. She knew that no one would believe her at first. She knew she would be mocked and insulted and called a liar. But the worse thing that she knew was coming was all the people who would say it’s not really her baby. It’s just a big distraction from Brexit. It’s just a fake belly so she can adopt, not that there was anything wrong with that; she and Philip had tried in the late eighties, but they had been rejected. She could hear all those things they would whisper, could see the headlines about the ice maiden turning maternal. It terrified her, but her son was making it harder every day to hide. “We have the conference that starts this weekend, and I don’t think I’ll be able to keep him a secret much longer. I don’t really want to. We’ll have to announce.”

 

“Yes. Is it bad that I’m scared?” He whispered, eyes shining with fear.

 

“Oh, of course not, darling. I’m terrified too,” she scooted closer to him, “but we’ll be all right. All three of us.”

 

She watched him nod before he took her hand, lacing their fingers together. Her thought were going a million miles a minute as she thought about telling him what else was on her mind. It had only briefly come through after she found out she was expecting, but the further along she got, the more she thought about it. “Philip, I’ve been thinking about something else.” She had spoken before her brain could stop her.

 

“What’s that, darling?” He was tracing her wedding rings with his finger.

 

It was now or never she decided. “I think I should resign.”


	6. Chapter 6

October 4, 2016

 

Philip walked over to his wife, wrapping his arms around her waist before burying his nose in his hair. She was warm and smelled of lavender and vanilla and felt like home. He wanted to stay like that forever, wrapped in peaceful silence with his arms full of his wife and unborn child, but he could sense her nerves. She had written and rewritten her speech for tomorrow a million times over the last few days. He had helped her, but she had taken charge, kicking everyone out of their room and locking herself away to finish it. He had seen the tears in her eyes after she had come to their bedroom in the hotel suite, and he held her while she cried after they made love. 

 

“You don’t have to do this,” he whispered. “We could manage.”

 

“I’ve waited so long for this. I don’t want to miss anything.” She leaned back against him and let herself melt in the feel of his arms. “But it is hard. I won’t lie. I’ve waited a very long time to be PM, and now I’m giving it up not even four months in.”

 

“Love, if you want to keep the job, I’ll fully support you. I could see if the company would let me work from home, and,” he sighed, pressing a kiss to the side of her neck, “I just want you to be happy.”

 

She slowly turned to face him, her belly pressing against his. “I know you do.” She cupped his face, resting her forehead against his. “But you make me happy. He makes me happy. Besides, I’m not stepping down as an MP. I’ll still have the constituency, and I’ll have you and our little boy to keep me occupied.”

 

“But you’ve worked so hard to get this far. You sacrificed so much to make it here, and you are stepping down, and it’s all my fault,” he said sadly, an apologetic tone in his voice. 

 

Theresa looked at him in shock before she tilted his head up. “Philip, look at me. Why on earth would this be your fault?”

 

He sighed, shoulders heaving before he held her hips gently. “Because I wasn’t, you know, careful. I should’ve known better then we wouldn’t be here.”

 

“What makes you think I wanted you to be careful?” She softly smiled. “Love, neither of us knew this would happen. We were told it would never happen by so many people, and I’ll admit I was shocked when we found out, but I wouldn’t change any of it. Love, I’ll choose you two over my job any day of the week. I did work hard, and I did sacrifice a lot, but I would’ve given any of it up for this. We finally get to have a family.”

 

Philip brushed her hair back before kissing her nose. “How did I get so lucky to have you?”

 

“You took forever to propose,” she deadpanned, causing him to laugh. 

 

He kissed her gently before tugging her behind him to bed. “You need to rest. You have a big day tomorrow.”

 

“I’m more worried about how visible he’ll be from underneath my dress.” She sank down in the pillows as she watched him change for bed. 

 

“You have been dropping hints about it. I’ve noticed how many times you’ve rested your hand on top of your stomach. I think a few people have noticed.” 

 

Theresa smiled to herself as she thought back to the plan she had come up with after her decision had been made about resigning. She had slowly started wearing some of the maternity clothes she had picked up, and she had been more lax about her spanx. She was almost positive that Philip Hammond had guessed after she quite literally bumped into him at one of the receptions, and he had, had to catch her from falling over by grabbing her waist. She had seen realization dawn on him slowly and grinned when he stared, mouth open as if he were a fish. She had sauntered off as he tried to stumble out the question. 

 

“Do you think we’ll be ambushed by everyone afterwards?” He asked, looking at her. They both burst out laughing at the absurdity of the question. 

 

“I think we should give an interview,” she whispered after he climbed into bed with her. “After I formally resign, everyone is going to want to know how it happened.”

 

“I think biology explains that.”

 

She smiled at his cheekiness. “I mean they will want to know if we had medical help and all that. We’ll have our privacy invaded more than we do now. Think about when we told Fiona and Nick. They each had a thousand questions.”

 

“Hmm.”

 

“We can do a short one. It can be with a paper, and we can simply explain that we are happy, and it was very unexpected. We don’t have to do much more.”

 

“We could do that in a statement as well, love. I just don’t want you to overwhelm yourself with all this. Tomorrow will be bad enough.” His hand gently cupped her stomach underneath the covers before he pulled her closer. “And being overwhelmed is one of the reasons you are stepping down.”

 

“I know, darling, but we are public figures with something that is extremely...rare, shall we say. People will be curious, and it’s not like we have anything to hide.” She paused, stroking his face. “Although, I suppose most of the country will be shocked we still have sex.”

 

“Why?! They apparently haven’t looked at you properly,” he flirted, sliding his hand around to hold her bottom. 

 

She chuckled into his neck as she snuggled impossibly close. “I’m glad I can still entice you even though I’m old.”

 

“You aren’t old.”

 

“I’m older,” she said. “You forget I had a birthday three days ago.”

 

“Oh, I definitely haven’t forgotten. I don’t think you realize how feisty your hormones have made you, darling.”

 

“You have been rather irresistible these last few weeks. I don’t think we’ve spent this much time in bed together since we were twenty!”

 

Philip smiled and kissed her again before brushing her hair back. “It’s been worth it, and we still have four months left.”

 

“Honey, by the time I’m that big, I don’t think I’ll want anyone to touch me.”

 

“Probably right.”

 

“We should get some sleep. Tomorrow will be exciting enough,” she whispered. 

 

“I love you, and I love you too,” he said softly before rubbing her belly. 

 

...................................

 

October 5, 2016

 

Theresa stared out into the audience. The silence made her heart race as she saw the faces of colleagues and friends staring, waiting for her to confirm the suspicion they all had. She had walked out and noticed how quickly everything fell quiet. The clapping had abruptly ended when everyone’s eyes saw her expanded stomach underneath her dress. It made her want to put her hand on it, to subconsciously protect her son, but she refrained and swallowed her fear before starting her speech. 

 

There had been the occasional pausing for applause, and she had carried on, looking to Philip often for a reassuring smile. He gave her a thumbs up at one point, and her nerves stilled for a moment. She had only had to stop once in order to not throw up all over the stage after she caught a whiff of a perfume that was too strong. The closer to the finish she got, the more she wanted to run away. No one had seen the end of her speech. Not even Philip. She could feel her heart steadily increase before a cold sweat broke out, and she briefly considered not mentioning it, letting a statement be published, but then her little boy had delivered a swift, hard kick to her ribs. 

 

“...To build an outward looking, confident, trading nation…here in Britain. To build a stronger, fairer, brighter future…here in Britain. That is the opportunity we have been given. And the responsibility to grasp it falls upon us all,” she said in a strong, firm voice before looking down at her paper, her handwriting sticking out. “But, unfortunately, I cannot be the one to lead us in that responsibility. When I stood in front of 10 Downing Street in July, I had no idea what this job would bring...what my life would bring. It’s been full of surprises.”

 

There was a small gasp that rippled through the audience, and she looked to her husband again, feeling her confidence grow. “Philip and I were always told that children wouldn’t be possible, and we were proven very, very wrong as you can all see.” She smiled when she heard Amber Rudd snigger into her hand. “I was told on the night I won the leadership election. I was very wary to believe it would last, and I was almost justified in that opinion. I’m stepping down, not because I believe that a mother can’t be prime minister, but because I have waited for this for nearly thirty years. I don’t want to miss anything if I’m honest.” She softly smiled as she thought about it. 

 

The air in the room changed as they all watched the far off look in her eye as she imagined a baby. Philip felt his chest constrict a bit, and he wanted to rush on and hug her as tightly as possible. There was an emotional atmosphere that wasn’t usually there with speeches on the political spectrum; there was a feeling of mutual understanding between everyone. Philip looked around to see the entirety of the crowd enraptured by his wife, his happy, glowing, pregnant wife. “You go, Tess,” he whispered to himself. 

 

She cleared her throat, attempting to force her emotions back before she spoke again. “It’s with a conflicting heart that I will offer my resignation. I wanted to do this. I wanted so, very badly to be able to lead us through Brexit, to make a real difference in our domestic agenda, and above all, make Britain a fairer place. I wanted to make us a place that people will be happy to raise their children in, and I’ll try my hardest from the back benches to accomplish that.” 

 

Her voice was getting softer, and she blinked back her tears. “I’m stepping aside because I know how unfair it will be. It will be unfair to my country, to myself, but above all, my new family. I’m not saying I couldn’t do it, because I could. But I lost my parents when I was young. I know my child will have the same thing happen to it, and I want to make as many memories as I can before I have to leave him,” she wistfully explained. “I want to say thank you to everyone who supported me to get here. Thank you to everyone who will support me stepping down. And thank you to the party, a party that I’ve loved so dearly, for giving me something that I will never forget or take for granted. Thank you.”

 

The thunderous clapping and yelling shocked her. She jumped slightly when it happened, but then Philip had wrapped an arm around. He had kissed her head before they made their way into the crowd. People were begging to shake her hand, and the number or men and women who were crying moved her in a way she hadn’t thought was possible. “I think that went well,” she said as she and Philip waved from the stairs. 

 

“It did.” He leaned in closer to her. “Let’s go home, love.”


	7. Chapter 7

November 17, 2016

 

The stench of paint filled almost the entire upstairs, making Philip’s head hurt. “Love, I’m going to open a window to get the smell out.”

 

“All right, darling,” Theresa said absentmindedly as she sat in the floor, completely focused on her task. “Do you like the blue or the green?”

 

“Hmm?” He turned after unlatching the large window and pushing it open. “Oh, for the quilt that Mia is making for us. I like the blue.”

 

“Me too,” she smiled up at him. “It was so nice of her to do this for us. When she mentioned it at church, I nearly cried.”

 

Philip plopped down in the floor beside her. “Yes, but I think it’s because you’ve always gotten the girls something. Beatrice absolutely loves that lamb. I don’t think she’s put it down since she was old enough to hold it.”

 

“Did I tell you what she said last Sunday?” She watched him shake his head before smiling. “We were talking about how I was going to have a baby, and she looked at me with the most innocent little face and said, ‘So you and Mr. Philip have mummy and daddy time without being a mummy and daddy?’”

 

He leant over as he shook with laughter. “Oh, the poor child.”

 

“I’ve never seen Mia so embarrassed. Apparently, Bea asked where babies come from when Mia was pregnant with Cameron.”

 

“I see.” He reached over and took a stack of onesies and started folding them along with her. “How did you keep a straight face?”

 

“Hmm.” Her face was turned downward, and he watched as she worked meticulously on the small clothing. 

 

The quiet was bothering him. She had looked happy the past few weeks, but there was something he couldn’t quite put his finger on about her. She had served out her role as prime minister until Amber Rudd had been elected before she was sent off with applause and cheers at her last PMQs. He knew she missed the job, the challenge, and he often worried if she was beginning to resent him, or even the baby for giving it up. 

 

“You’re staring again, darling,” she teased, smiling brightly as she looked at the freshly painted wall.

 

He started to ask her but decided against it. “You’re just very beautiful.”

 

“I’m very big. I’m nearly thirty weeks now if you can believe it.” Her hand went to rub her stomach as she leaned back on one arm, legs spreading across the floor. “He keeps kicking me in the ribs.”

 

Philip nodded, continuing to fold various clothing before setting it in a small wicker basket to put in the chest of drawers that would arrive later in the month. He had been the one eager to start the nursery, almost pushing for them to do it as soon as she was free. He knew Theresa let him because he felt so helpless with her morning sickness. “Do you like the white? I didn’t know if you would.”

 

“I love it. We can always paint it again when he’s older. We’ll have to find a bassinet soon. We have the crib, but I want him to sleep in our room in the beginning. Maybe until I have him weaned.”

 

“So you are breastfeeding?”

 

“I want to try,” she said, voice low.

 

He bent at the waist and kissed her head. “Then I’ll do everything I can to help.”

 

“Really?” She perked up. “I know that the doctor said we would have to monitor my blood sugar more closely, but I really want to do this for him.”

 

“I know you do, darling. I just want to make sure that we are both prepared for everything that will come along with it. We’ll have to get a breast pump, and I’ll have to brush up on the signs of hypoglycemia, and you’ll have to eat enough,” he said pointedly. “You heard the doctor say that breastfeeding is just like any other activity that causes calories to burn. It can drop your blood sugar very quickly.”

 

She stared at him for a moment, wanting to pull him close and kiss him senseless but realizing her belly wouldn’t allow it. “How did you...”

 

“I looked into it after you mentioned you wanted to do it,” he sheepishly whispered. 

 

“I love you so much.”

 

“I love you too. Shall I help you up?”

 

“Please. I need to start on lunch anyway.” She held her hands out as Philip carefully helped her onto her feet. “We should talk about names tonight. I don’t think we should leave it much longer. We can’t keep calling him, well, him.”

 

He smiled, following her down to the kitchen. His eyes followed her movements as she danced around the kitchen, and he wanted to capture it all on film. She had let her hair grow out again, almost to her bob length from before, and she had the top part clipped back, pieces curling and framing her face. He had felt his heart melt when she came down that morning in a white long sleeve, denim overalls, no makeup, and his socks. Her stomach was just at the stage she could move, but there was a definite waddle, and he found it endearing. “You know, I could get used to this maternity fashion you’ve got going. You’re quite...cute.”

 

“I haven’t been called cute since I was a little girl.” She blushed softly before beginning to make sandwiches. 

 

“Well, I think you are absolutely adorable.”

 

.......................................

 

The last thing Philip expected to see when he walked in their bedroom later that night was Theresa curled up, reading the Bible to her belly, without him. They had begun to take turns every night reading or singing or even telling stories about them and their parents to their little boy. “What are you doing?”

 

She looked over sleepily. “We were waiting on you. I thought we could finish out one of my favorites.”

 

“Ah. I see. Let me hurry then.” He practically jumped in bed, causing her to laugh, before he snuggled in and took the Bible. “It’s my turn to read tonight. Pick up on verse 16?”

 

“Go ahead, love.”

 

“The people which sat in darkness saw great light; and to them which sat in the region and shadow of death light is sprung up. From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. And Jesus, walking by the sea of Galilee, saw two brethren, Simon called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea: for they were fishers. And he saith unto them, Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men. And they straightway left their nets, and followed him-“

 

“I like the name Andrew,” she said suddenly. “We gave your name to our other one.”

 

“Yes.” He kissed her head, hand stroking her shoulder without thought. “We could give him my middle name?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“What about Jacob if we are going down a biblical route?”

 

“My son isn’t having the same name as Rees-Mogg.”

 

“Right. Umm,” he said back against the headboard, “James?”

 

“Wasn’t he on Top Gear? James May?” She looked up at him before shaking her head. 

 

“Peter?”

 

“Ex-boyfriend before you.”

 

“Aaron? He was a good guy,” he said hopefully. 

 

“You dated a girl named Aaron, didn’t you?”

 

“Yes, but it wasn’t spelled the same.”

 

“No,” she decided. “Gosh, I never realized I disliked so many people.”

 

Philip laughed and gently closed the Bible, setting it aside. “What about Stephen? You had a cousin named Stephen, didn’t you?”

 

“Yes. Andrew Stephen May? It has a nice ring to it. I think I like it.”

 

“It’s perfect, darling.”

 

Theresa rolled over, taking the covers with her. “Just think about how bad it would’ve been had it been a girl.”

 

...................................

 

November 30, 2016

 

“Philip, tell me what we are doing!” She demanded. He had blindfolded her before leading her through their house, and she was hormonal and just wanted to be left alone. “So help me, Philip John May. Don’t make me-“

 

“Be quiet, Theresa. I’m trying to surprise you, and you are ruining it. I get that you don’t feel great, but I worked really hard on this, and a little appreciation would be nice!” He huffed. 

 

She sighed as guilt overwhelmed her. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.” She reached out to find him and gently held his arm. “I don’t know why I’m being this way.”

 

“You’re hormonal and very pregnant, but I want you to enjoy this.”

 

“I will. Can I take my blindfold off?” She gingerly asked. 

 

He kissed her forehead before loosening it and standing back. Wrapping an arm around her waist he whispered in her ear, “Ta da! I hope you like it.”

 

Words couldn’t be formed as she looked back and forth between her gift and her husband. “You...I...but...oh, Philip!” She threw her arms around his neck. 

 

“I got it out of storage for us and had it redone. It’s your old bassinet.” He was smiling sweetly at her when she kissed him soundly on the lips. 

 

“I know, darling. Daddy had it made for me.” Her voice was thick with emotion and unshed tears. She tan her hand along the freshly stained wood and laughed quietly as she saw the mobile. There was a book, a cross, a little owl, and a small, plush, blue rosette that had ‘Baby Tory’ embroidered on it. “It’s absolutely perfect.”

 

He watched her intensely. Her smile was genuine, but there was a melancholy behind her eyes, and it hadn’t left since she found out she was pregnant.


	8. Chapter 8

December 21, 2016

 

The fire was crackling as Theresa leaned up to place a ornament in the shape of a flower on the tree. She had managed to do most of it but decided to let Philip finish it off with the angel topper. He was meant to be home any minute, and she was excited that she would get to prop her feet up with him and stay warm and cozy until the baby came. She would start her maternity leave the day parliament came back from recess, and she was looking forward to being able to just rest. She wanted to be a bit of a homebody for a while so she could put the finishing touches on the nursery, and her doctor had mentioned that being a bit lazy would help her since she was older. 

 

“Tess,” Philip called, “I’m home. I made a quick stop on the way home.”

 

“I’m in the living room, love. I’ve decorated the tree,” she yelled back. 

 

“I see.” He rounded the doorway and leaned down to kiss her before he pulled a small box from behind his back. “Here we are, darling.”

 

“Christmas isn’t for another four days, Philip.”

 

“I know, but it’s for Andrew. I don’t think he’ll mind, and if he does, he can’t really complain, can he?” 

 

His smile made her throw tradition to the wind as she eagerly took the box, ripping the shiny paper away. “You didn’t, Philip.”

 

He sat beside her and threw his arm around her shoulders. “I did. They match yours, and I might have even gotten a pair for me.” He lifted his leg to reveal a pair of white Converse sneakers that matched the ones his wife had sitting in the closet. “I figured that if we are going to have our picture taken every time we go out now we might as well give them something to say ‘awe’ about.”

 

“This is so sweet. Could we hang them on the tree?” 

 

“I don’t see why not.” He took them out of the small box and tied the laces together before hanging them from one of the limbs. “Shall I put the angel on?”

 

“Please. I was afraid to stand on the ladder and do it.” She watched as he set the antique heavenly figure on top before switching the lights on. “Now come cuddle.”

 

He pulled her close as they stared at the tree. “The shoes are a nice touch. They’re quite bright in all the lights.”

 

“And next year we can get all the baby’s first stuff!” She beamed. 

 

Philip smiled and felt her sink further down in the couch. “That we can, dear.”

 

.......................................

 

December 24, 2016

 

“We can each open one. It is Christmas Eve,” Theresa cheerfully said. 

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to wait?” Philip asked, knowing she would always open presents early given the chance. The inner little girl that had to grow up too fast came through at Christmas time every year. 

 

“I’m positive!” She quickly grabbed a silver package and handed it to him. “Open yours first.” 

 

Blushing, he pulled the top off of the box and look at his wife in confusion. “What...is it?”

 

Theresa smiled and helped him pull his gift out. “It’s for your office. I did some digging of my own and,” she undid a small clasp and the block looking structure unfolded into three panels, “I found our old christening photos. I’m on the right, you’re on the left, and I thought we could put Andrew in the middle. You can set it on that big bookcase by your desk.”

 

Philip gently kissed her, running his fingers through her hair. “This is amazing. Thank you so much, love. I can show off our little family.”

 

“Yes. I hope he looks like you when you were a baby. You were rather adorable.”

 

“Was?!” He feigned hurt, placing a hand over his heart. 

 

“You are, and you’re all mine,” she whispered, kissing him again. 

 

“Your turn.”

 

“Yay!” She cheered before placing a hand on her lower back. She felt a sharp pain rip through her lower back and clutched the arm of the couch hard. 

 

He watched as she grimaced and several alarm bells went off at once. “Love, are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine,” she lied. “Strong kick is all.”

 

“You sure?”

 

“Yes, love.” She gently patted his leg, grabbing her gift from his hand. “Let’s see what this is.” Her hands were shaking as she gently peeled the paper off, and he noticed. “You didn’t need to get me jewelry this year, love. Having a baby is expensive, and we’ll have to-“

 

“Just open the box, please,” he teased. 

 

She playfully rolled her eyes before popping the velvet box open. “Philip, is this his heartbeat?” A beautiful silver necklace was placed inside with their son’s rhythm strip on it. 

 

“Yes. I thought if you ever worked your way up into the cabinet again and had to travel you could always have him with you.”

 

“You sweet, sweet man. Will you put it on me?”

 

“Absolutely.” Taking the delicate chain in hand, he easily clasped the necklace around her neck before looking at her, observing how elegant and beautiful and...sad she was. It was all underneath the surface, but he could tell; he knew her too well to believe otherwise. He had never been so sure he had disappointed her in some way before, and his heart dropped a bit. 

 

“Philip, is something wrong?”

 

“Wha-oh, no. I’m glad you like your gift.” He smiled softly. 

 

“I love it.” She rubbed her stomach, eyes sparkling. “You know when he’s older we’ll be setting biscuits and milk out for Santa on Christmas Eve.”

 

“Good. That means I get a nice treat before bed.”

 

.....................................

 

He knew she wasn’t asleep by the way she was tossing and turning, and he gently put a hand on her back. “Theresa, are you okay?”

 

He heard her sigh before she rolled to face him. “I have this dull ache in my back, and...can I be honest?”

 

“Of course.” His nerves awoke suddenly. He was terrified she was about to tell him how much she hated him for getting her pregnant, how much she wished she had stayed on as PM, and how much she was going to regret all this. 

 

“I miss my parents.”

 

He paused as he heard her confession, and he felt elated. It wasn’t that he wanted her to miss them, but he was thrilled it wasn’t him causing her sadness. “I know you do. I miss mine too.”

 

“They never got to see any of my accomplishments. They didn’t see me become an MP or Home Secretary or PM. They won’t get to see me be a mum either,” she whispered, tears slipping down her cheeks. 

 

He held her to his chest as she sobbed. “Oh, darling, if I could bring them back, I would. I would give the whole world to you.”

 

“I know, and I’m so lucky to have you, but it never stops hurting. I would give anything to just see them hold him. Mum would be all over him, and Daddy would probably cry. You know how much of a softie he was.”

 

“I do. He cried at our wedding.”

 

“Hmm,” she hummed. 

 

“Love?”

 

“Philip, we need to go to the hospital,” she said, panic in her voice. 

 

“Theresa?” He sat up, turning the light on. 

 

“I think I’m in labor.”


	9. Chapter 9

Christmas Day, 2016

 

Everyone had mentioned how he was the first baby to be born on Christmas, but no one mentioned how small he was. Or how fragile he looked. Or the fact that when he was born the only sound he made was a tiny mewl. No one mentioned the bad, only the fact he was born on Christmas Day. He had watched as doctors fussed over his son, and nurses wheeled his wife away for emergency surgery. It was only him, all alone, in a family waiting room. He had waited and wondered if he was about to become a bereaved parent as well as a widower before a nurse had come for him. The hallways were silent as they made their way to the neonatal unit. He wanted to fall on his knees and sob when he saw Theresa. 

 

She had looked at him with swollen eyes and a tear streaked face before she turned back to the large incubator. His heart stopped completely as he followed her eyes. His little boy was tiny, and he looked so very peaceful. The nurse gave him a rushed explanation that Theresa had begun to hemorrhage after the placenta had ruptured, and the only way to save her was a hysterectomy. He nodded along, slowly realizing that even if they had wanted to have another, as rare as it would be, it was impossible now. Their only child, their only hope, was hooked to various machines, fighting for his life. 

 

“Philip,” she had whispered, “two pounds and thirteen ounces. I have cookbooks that weigh more than him.”

 

He had pulled her close, reminding her that she was fighting to get well just like Andrew was. They allowed her to sleep with his incubator in her room, knowing she would put up a fight. Philip had paced every corridor by morning he thought. He was too nervous and too scared to sleep. He was terrified that something would happen, any little sign, and he would miss it. Sure, he’s had just about every specialist there tell him that Andrew had every chance. “He’s thirty weeks,” they said, “and he has the best care.”

 

But he knew that the best care in the world still wasn’t enough for his little boy. His child was a miracle, and he needed his miracle to make it. He needed his little miracle to make it for him, to make it for Theresa. He’d never feared for anyone other than his wife his whole life, but he had watched his whole world, his very heart, lay behind glass, too fragile to be touched, and he had never prayed so hard on his hands and knees before. 

 

.....................................

 

New Years Day, 2017

 

“...and just hold his head like that, and you’ll be fine,” he heard a nurse tell Theresa as he blinked his eyes open. He groaned as he attempted to stretch, body bent and sore from the hospital recliner. He immediately perked up when he saw his wife holding their little boy to her chest. 

 

“Look, little one. Daddy wants to say good morning.” She smiled up at him, and he brushed her hair back, kissing her head gently. “She was telling me about how we will feed him.”

 

“Oh?” He was caught up with his son, entrapped with how he seemed to be Theresa and him all at the same time. The moment he saw Andrew try and take his finger, he knew that it was going to be all right. His son was a fighter. Just like his mother. 

 

“He’s on a feeding tube right now, Mr. May. We are giving him formula to help build up his immune system,” the young woman said. 

 

He nodded and smiled. “You can call me Philip.”

 

“What about my milk?” Theresa asked, a small amount of fear in her voice. 

 

The dark haired nurse smiled. “We will get a pump and start pumping it out and using it for him. We’ll start freezing it for you. When you go home, you can take it with you. We were just trying to get his blood sugar up. I saw you were a type 1 diabetic, and sometimes the baby will have low blood sugar after birth. It was just until yours came in.”

 

“I...umm,” she swallowed hard, “I had an emergency hysterectomy. Will that affect my milk production?”

 

“It shouldn’t. Those hormones aren’t connected. You refused pain medication so we should be able to start pumping as soon as it makes its appearance. I would suggest getting a pacifier so he can start strengthening those muscle to feed.”

 

“We have some at home. I’ll run by later and get some things for us and those,” Philip offered. 

 

“If I were you,” the nurse said in a low voice, “I would bring a few things for you two. Andrew is very lucky because he is fully developed, but he’s still quite small. He’ll have to stay for a bit, and I imagine you’ll want to stay with him.”

 

They nodded in unison before they watched her leave quietly. “Philip, do you think he’ll be in here for months?” Theresa was beginning to panic, and he placed a hand on her shoulder to calm her. 

 

“I think he’ll spend a few weeks, and then we’ll get to go home. He’s a little fighter, darling.”

 

“I know, but I was so scared. I just knew we were going to lose him.” She brought the small body of their son closer to her chest before pulling her gown down to allow skin to skin contact. “You are my precious, little Christmas gift, Andrew.” She lightly kissed his head before scooting over, allowing Philip to join her in the bed.

 

“How do you feel?” He had seen the dark circles under her eyes, and he knew she was trying to hide her pain and exhaustion. 

 

She rested her head in his shoulder, offering a weak smile. “I’m tired and sore, but I’ll be fine. They told me that he didn’t need a respirator which is good.”

 

“Yes. Do you remember much about the birth? You were pretty out of it,” he mumbled into her hair. 

 

“I remember a lot of pain and blood. I don’t remember the doctors actually telling me he was okay. Did they say he was okay?”

 

“No,” he quietly admitted. “They rushed both of you out, and I was left standing there in a bloody surgical gown.”

 

“You must have been so scared. I’m sorry, love.” She cranes her neck so she could kiss him before turning her attention back to the baby. “Would you like to hold him?”

 

“Am I allowed to?”

 

“Of course. Just watch his head, and you’ll be fine.” It was a bit of a task getting him situated with so many tubes and IV’s, but Philip would’ve dealt with the hassle times a hundred if it meant feeling the sweet weight of his little boy on his chest. 

 

“There’s my little miracle,” he whispered. “You are so loved, you know. Mummy and I can’t wait to take you home so we can cuddle all the time. You’ve got to keep fighting, baby. Be strong like Mummy for me.”

 

Theresa felt the entire world melt away except for her two boys in the bed with her. Everything she needed and wanted was right there in front of her, and she had never felt so content to sit and listen to her husband. Andrew was making a low sound, almost a purr as Philip stroked his small back with his forefinger, and for the first time in a week, she drifted off to sleep peacefully. 

 

.......................................

 

January 31, 2017

 

“Welcome home, baby,” Theresa whispered as they stepped over the threshold. “Daddy came back earlier to make sure it was nice and warm for you.”

 

Philip smiled as he sat the car seat down. Andrew may have gained two pounds, but he was still only about half the size he needed to be to fit in the carrier. “Theresa, I think he’s passed smooth out.”

 

“That won’t last long. He’s due to eat soon,” she explained before easing down onto the couch. “It’s so nice to be home. I can properly shower again.”

 

He laughed before joining her. He felt her snuggle into him as they sat, staring at the sleeping form of their son in his car seat. “Is it bad that I just want to look at him?”

 

“No. That’s all I did for about the first week. He looks like a little doll, doesn’t he?”

 

“Too perfect to disturb,” Philip said in agreement. “Are you still sore?”

 

“Yes. It’s much better now though. The stitches aren’t itchy.” She was fiddling with his hand before she laced their fingers together. 

 

Philip opened his mouth to speak when the soft cooing of their baby interrupted him. He watched as his wife expertly handled him before she pulled her shirt on one side. “Okay, baby, Mummy has never done this by herself before so go easy on me.”

 

He saw as Andrew gently latched on, sucking with vigor once he realized milk was coming. He was in awe as he stared. He had never fully appreciated that one of the many things a woman could do was grow, and then nourish, a child until he watched Theresa do it. He started smiling when he caught his wife’s eye.

 

“What’s so funny?” 

 

“Oh, nothing,” he said nonchalantly. “I just never thought I’d be competing with my son for second base.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one has a bit of a time jump. Consider it a prologue.

June 15, 2017

 

Theresa trudged into the living room, pausing as she saw the sight before her. She had gone for her usual Saturday morning workout, leaving the boys at home to wake up a bit more. Apparently, the message of waking up had been forgotten as she saw her husband sprawled out on the couch, glasses half off while Andrew had curled up on his chest and dozed off too. She wanted to be angry, but found the sight too irresistibly cute to muster it. “Philip,” she said gently, poking his shoulder. “Philip, wake up.”

 

“Hmm,” he groggily lifted his head, “you were meant to go to the gym, love.”

 

“I have. You and Andy fell back asleep.” She bit her lip softly to hide her smirk when he realized what time it must be, and all the things he hadn’t done. 

 

“Oh, Tess, I’m so sorry.” He looked down, seeing his son still snoozing away and gently held him as he stood. “We just sat down so I could give him his morning bottle, and I guess we drifted off. I was meant to give him a bath and pack the picnic and-“

 

She quickly cut him off with a kiss. “I’ll pack the picnic and bathe him while you go shower. By the time you’re done, I can jump in while you dress him. How’s that?”

 

“I really don’t know how you manage all of us.”

 

“Your guess is as good as mine.” She gently took her son before Philip dashed upstairs. “Come on. Mummy needs some time with her baby.”

 

Setting the baby bath in the sink, she allowed one side to fill with warm water while she grabbed various Tupperware containers. She had, had a niggling feeling that this might happen and had already packed most of the food the night before. All that was left was putting them in their basket. Checking the water, she gently started to undress the little one. He was still small for his age, but their pediatrician said he would catch up after he hit a growth spurt. Luckily, his nappy was still clean, and she eased him into the water. She smiled thinking of the first time they had done this. Philip had been terrified he would accidentally drown him while Theresa laughed and said he would never get clean if he didn’t trust his instincts.

 

“Did you decide to wake up, baby?” She grinned down at her precious boy. Her heart fluttered when Philip’s big, blue eyes stared back. She had gotten her wish, and her little boy looked exactly like his father. It would often cross her mind what her other little boy would look like. Maybe like her? She usually shrugged it off, but it had been bothering her more and more lately. 

 

“He should. He was asleep before I was,” Philip said, hugging his wife from behind. “I’ll finish up here if you want to go on up.”

 

“Are you sure?” She turned and smiled as she looked him up and down. His hair was wet, there was a towel around his shoulders, and he only had a pair of trousers on. “Underdressed, Mr. May?”

 

“If I put a shirt on, it will get wet when I get him out. You know this, Mrs. May,” he teased back. 

 

“I suppose. The picnic is packed. I’ll be right back.”

 

“Okay.” But he wasn’t paying any attention to her. He was too focused on the splashing baby in front of him. 

 

Theresa was trying to get dressed as quickly as possible when she stumbled upon a small box in her closet. Pulling the lid off, she smiled to herself, plan forming in her mind before she grabbed the shirt Philip had laid out for himself. Stuffing her things in her bag, she found Andrew in his car seat while Philip was attempting to get the six month old’s hair to stay down. “Love, you know that’s useless. It’s too curly.”

 

“He looks like a ragamuffin!”

 

“He’s baby, darling. Also,” she threw his shirt at him, watching as he slipped it on, “I found something.”

 

“Oh?” He asked, curiosity shining from behind his glasses. 

 

“Here.” She gently set a small pair of white Converse on the counter before smiling at him. “I think it’s finally time we could all match!”

 

He stared at her for a moment before smiling, eyes going to his feet. “I think I already beat you there.”

 

Her whole face lit up as she saw her husband’s shoes. Grabbing his face, she kissed him deeply before stepping back. “Great minds think alike.”

 

“You know, I think great minds make great kissers too,” he flirted, pulling her closer again to kiss her, but Andrew had other plans and started giggling. 

 

“You know your flirting is bad when even your son thinks it’s funny.”

 

“Hey, you,” he poked his son’s belly, causing him to giggle harder, “this flirting is the reason you’re here.”

 

Andrew stared up before having a full laughing fit. Theresa watched the mock hurt her husband displayed before softly kissing the baby’s cheeks. She could stand and watch Philip play with their baby all day. She had never seen him as happy or relaxed as he was when their little Andy was around. “Shall we go?” She asked, swallowing her tears as she thought about her little boy growing up. 

 

...................................

 

“This was a wonderful idea, Philip.” The weather was clear and sunny, and they had found the perfect spot underneath a tree at their local park. Andy was currently doing his tummy time to prepare him for crawling while Philip helped him roll over. Theresa had already snapped a few pictures before Philip could protest. 

 

“I thought we could all use some nice, fresh air, and I’ve missed having picnics with you. It’s been years since we’ve done it.”

 

“Work got crazy for a bit.”

 

Philip gently helped Andrew onto his lap before looking at Theresa. “Do you regret giving it up? I used to fear that you’d resent me for it.”

 

“What?! Of course I wouldn’t! I do wonder where I would be with things now. It’s nice being a backbencher again though. I get to focus on the constituency.” She smiled as she watched Andy stick his hand in a jar of puréed bananas before shoving his fist in his mouth. “Besides, I like the title mum more than I do ma’am. And it’s all because of you.” She leaned over and kissed his nose, listening for his familiar baby babble. She made quick work of making sure he was clean to spare her extra washing. 

 

“You’ve changed so much since he’s come along. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with hair that long,” he observed. 

 

Blushing, she looked down. She knew she had changed. She hadn’t meant for it to be on purpose; it had just happened. Motherhood had transformed her, not to someone better, but to someone different. She was still the steely politician she always had been, but she was more open with herself and others. Andrew had shifted her life so that a few things she once considered important were now at the bottom of her to-do list. “He’s changed both of us. Watching you with him is like watching you fall in love all for the first time, but this time it’s pure, unadulterated love. It’s amazing.”

 

He gently helped his son to stand so he could bounce on the blanket they had laid out. “I think the first time I saw you with him something clicked. It was like some big jigsaw puzzle made sense finally.”

 

“I completely agree.”

 

“I have a surprise for you,” he said softly. 

 

Looking over, she smiled. “Oh? More jewelry?”

 

“It’s a bit bigger actually. Come on.” He slowly stood before grabbing her hand and helping her up. He was balancing his son on one arm and his wife on the other. “Andy helped me with it.”

 

“Is it covered in more bananas?”

 

He chuckled and tugged her closer, lips grazing her forehead. “No, love.”

 

“What about our things?”

 

“It’s right past this tree. It will be fine.” He heard her sigh before he smiled and pulled her to stop. “Here we are.”

 

“It’s a bench,” she said without much enthusiasm. 

 

The quizzical look on her face made him laugh, and he nudged her forward. “Go read what’s on the bench.”

 

Slowly, she crept towards it until she could see an inscription:

 

‘For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him.  
1 Samuel 1:27

For our little Alex. We’ve never met you, but we’ve loved you nonetheless.   
Love,   
Mum, Dad, and Andy.’

 

She didn’t realize she was crying until Philip handed her a handkerchief. She had no words to express the gratitude or grief so she hugged him, burying her face in his neck. Everything in her thanked God for giving her Philip in that moment. 

 

“You’re welcome,” he whispered, knowing she was too overcome with emotion. “I thought we could bring Andy our here on the weekends when the weather is nice. We’ll be able to tell him about us and Alex and our parents. We can tell him about how unexpected he was.”

 

Theresa smiled. “I work in politics. You learn to expect the unexpected.”


End file.
